Heaven and Hell
by Abundant E
Summary: She loved him, despite knowing what he would become. He was her brother, her older brother, the one she went to with her problems. Yet there are enemies everywhere, there are expectations. The weight of the village rests in the balance. OC, Self Insert, slightly AU


**A/N: **Well...I've written stories before, a lot of them, but never really tried to write a proper fanfic before...and of course, it had to be the incredibly overused self insert...-sigh- Oh well, yes, this is technically how I would react, except...I would swear _a lot_ more. Still, tried to cut that out a bit.

I definitely don't want Kiyomi to be a Sue, and I'm doing my best to focus on character development in this story, as well as 'show, not tell'. I know you don't really have a grasp on her personality but...hopefully you do by the next chapter.

Hope it's alright...sorry if it isn't haha

**.**

**-Heaven and Hell-**

**I**

**.**

I wasn't one to think of what would happen after I die. Part of me hoped that there would actually be something 'after', but then comes the realisation that if there was something after…I would be dead. Not that I thought I would die this early, though. You get all these statistics about death and see all the car accidents on television and you think that it will never be you in that situation.

If my accident was on the T.V, then someone out there was probably looking at it and thinking what I had thought many times. Bad mistake, buddy.

Either way, I suppose it was partly my fault. Driving home drunk isn't exactly the world's smartest idea, but you know teenagers. They think they're immortal, and I'm not proud to say I thought exactly that.

Imagine my surprise when, after the terrifying pain and darkness that there was something…more. It felt like thousands of years, though it was probably only a few minutes that I lay there, in the wreckage of a car with a friend who was most likely dying as well from a stupid mistake.

I don't remember much of it. I try not to really think about it. It's not something you like to think about, and it's not something I dwell on much in my 'new life'.

To put it simply, I was reborn. I don't know how, or why, or if it's a good thing or a bad thing. At first, it seemed horrible, and then it seemed absolutely brilliant. Now…I have my doubts.

When I was 'in between', as I like to call it, there was nothing but darkness, but not the kind I experienced before my death. It was more a quiet, comforting sensation. Everything was warm, and you just felt…safe. Like you belonged there, even though there was nothing but darkness surrounding you.

All that was torn away from me in one horrific moment, though. I felt like I was being ripped away from something, from something _important_. And then there was more darkness, but it was so…open. There was screaming, wailing, and it took me a moment to realise that it was _me_, which was completely wrong. I rarely ever cried, yet here I was, bawling like a _baby_?

It hit me, then. That perhaps I was actually a baby, despite how impossible it seemed. After all, this kind of stuff only happened in those weird movies, right? Yet the chance of being reborn…not that I knew if that was actually the case, seemed so enticing. I hadn't exactly completely messed up my life before, but I certainly regretted _a lot_. It could be a new start...a new opportunity. Unless I was born into some weird place with a strange family.

My screaming continued, despite it being hushed by a kind, motherly voice, which only further aroused my suspicions of being a baby. I couldn't open my eyes, as they felt like lead. Everything felt uncoordinated, except, unfortunately, my brain. I had all these thoughts of everything, yet I was a newborn baby. My body was of a child, my mind was of a sometimes mature eighteen year old woman.

I'm not sure how long I stayed in the hospital, which didn't even turn out to be a hospital at all. I learnt that pretty quickly, when after staying in a kind and caring woman's arms for what felt like three years, I was moved into a different pair of arms. They were still familiar, yet they were far more tentative, as if they didn't quite know what to do with a newborn baby. I automatically made the assumption – which was correct, might I add – that this was my father.

I was carried into a different room, yet the atmosphere was still the same. Everything felt like home, like I had this sense of _belonging_. My parents talked to me, though I could never understand it. At first I thought that part of my brain was still that of a baby's mind – it made sense, considering I often forgot things randomly and just started wailing – but I could pick up things. One word stuck especially. _Kiyomi_, and _Uchiha_, the latter which was so familiar.

I didn't know what to do after I had been born. Everything was so…different, so confusing. My mother was kind and caring, that much I could tell from the first few days, simply by listening to her tone. There was something…different, though, about my father. He was more distant, stoic, and he didn't seem to know what to do. I learnt how to tell if it was him or not in the first days, simply by how the person would hold me.

Time was weird, because everything felt so long and dragged out. It took me awhile before I could open my eyes, and once I did, I simply stared. My parents were probably quite freaked out by it, for when I first opened my eyes, I looked at them, examined them. There was nothing really that odd or different about them. Both of them had dark eyes and dark hair, with a rather angled face. Yet there was something about them, about their features…it sent alarm bells ringing in my head.

It wasn't until I was introduced to _another_ member of my family that I previously hadn't known existed. After that, I was so entirely sure of what had happened, because after all, there was just so much _proof_ of it.

He was my brother, I could tell instantly, and by my guesses, not even two years old. His hair was a complete mess, all untamed and shaggy and messy. To my surprise, he didn't react in any way to my presence at first, which seemed to disappoint my mother.

I picked up none of their conversation, except, yet again, a name. _Madara_. Now, that name was something I definitely remembered. I had watched a lot of Naruto to know the technically first male villain of the show. This couldn't be him, though, despite the obvious resemblance. I was _not_ a stupid character in a corny show with too many quotes about love and sacrifice. I had not just been transported into another world. No, it was just...it wasn't possible.

My only reaction to my older brother was to scream and cry. Wouldn't you, knowing what this man could do? Sure, he was only a boy, and I didn't know for sure if this was _the_ Madara Uchiha, but…if I remembered correctly from when I had been obsessed with the show, he went…a little bit insane. And not to mention he was _insanely_ powerful.

Naturally, my mother was shocked by my reaction, and began whispering what sounded like reassuring things to me. Madara, my fucking _brother_, seemed suddenly curious by me, and began to approach me. I was scared, and if I had been my reckless eighteen year old self, I would have screamed, shouted, wrenched myself out of my mother's arms and ran off. Unfortunately, though, I was an uncoordinated and annoying baby.

They were talking, now, my mother and brother. I learnt my mother's name in that time, due to it being repeated by Madara. _Hana_. At that moment, I permanently etched her name and Madara's into my mind, though I had no doubt that I would have little to no trouble remembering _his_ name. My father's…in the manga, Madara's father had been such an insignificant character that no one cared about him at all. His little brother, whose name I couldn't remember for the life of me, was far more important. At the moment, though, he hadn't appeared to be born yet. Joy.

After that first meeting, I saw little of Madara except for a few glances. He didn't seem too perturbed by my presence, but then again, it wasn't like he had a say. I spent most of my time in my mother's arms, crying a lot to not bring any suspicion upon me. Besides, it felt _good_ to let everything out, considering the fact that I should be _dead_, and that yes, I was in a bloody anime world and I was sister to soon-to-be psychopath. Wouldn't you do the same thing, if you were born to be a sister of a complete psychotic ninja? Wouldn't you, if you were thrown into a world you thought only existed in Masashi Kishimoto's head?

My father was a rather sad absence in my life. At first I thought he didn't care, and then I realised that my thought was actually sort of true in a way. I learnt that there was _more_ brothers, or two more, to be precise. I didn't remember Madara having any other siblings other than that…other one, whose name was just not in my head at the moment, so I automatically presumed they would die soon. Then I remembered that _I _was in this world, which could change things. Though I was still definitely sure that the other brothers would die.

Which led me to a big problem. Did I _want_ to change things? I was a baby at the moment, sure, but later on I could…do something. Madara wasn't exactly _bad_ when he was young. I was pretty certain that he and Hashirama were friends at the start, before..._my_ father found out. Still, if I could somehow secure an alliance between the Uchiha and the…other clan. It wasn't my fault I didn't remember the names. I was never a hardcore fan, yet I knew enough. But I was _me_, and I wasn't a stupid prodigy like Madara or like Itachi - not that he was born yet - but still. The world just didn't work like that. But...I still wanted to.

I knew, though, the moment I meant my other brothers and saw their faces, that I _did _want to change things. The oldest one, Takeshi, looked dead to me, and even worse, he looked only six years old. It was clear that my father spent most of his time training Takeshi, and that my mother didn't approve of it. I could tell by the way the atmosphere in the room seemed to change whenever he entered, whenever he was discussed. Either way, my eldest brother still smiled at me slightly, almost quietly, and he had this knowing look to his eyes.

The middle brother, named Jin, was a lot louder and seemed more…lively, which made sense, as he was younger than Takeshi. He seemed to like me the most, even though I hadn't done much. Most of my first months were spent playing with Jin, who smiled and laughed a lot, even when my father dragged him to training. He had a kind aura, and was energetic. Part of me thought he was Naruto at first, despite the obvious physical difference. There was just something about him that was so likeable.

Madara, however, seemed indifferent to possibly _everything_, though. He smiled at me sometimes, which would always shock me. I didn't know why he did that, though. Sometimes, very randomly, he would plonk himself down next to me on the ground, which was where I usually was. I found toys boring, yet I played with them anyway. It was the only entertainment around, and Madara often made it more interesting. It was odd, how he had all these strange stories planned out for my weird dolls or other toys. Still, it was fun, and I greatly appreciated it.

Oddly enough, Madara didn't seem to mind playing with me, even though he rarely did it. Father seemed to think he was too young for serious training, so often Madara was left wandering around the house, and he often came to me. I was still incredibly wary of him, though I knew he could cause me no harm. Even though I didn't feel as safe around him as I did with Jin, he still…was home, at this moment.

I quickly forgot my old life, simply because it was easiest. I had a new family now, whose names I knew would be permanently etched into my mind. It took me awhile to learn my father's name, because it was either offhandedly mentioned in conversations – which struck me as odd – or it wasn't mentioned at all. Either way, my father was actually the one who told me. Part of me wondered if he suspected anything, if he thought I was smarter than usual or if it was a test.

It was around the third month of my 'rebirth', I was pretty sure, that he suddenly walked into my room, grabbed me out of my crib gently and put me down on the floor. He stared at me, almost viciously, before his eyes softened gradually. I stared back at him, unsure of what he was doing. My father finally offered me a wary smile, before pointing a finger at him.

"Tajima," was all he said, but it was enough for me.

My father was no longer a nameless and stoic face in my mind, but a real person. That was what his name did, made him seem…more real.

My first months were alternated between trying desperately to learn the language, which was obviously Japanese, combined with playing with Jin and Madara, as well as watching my mother, father and Takeshi. Within those first few months came a realisation that should have occurred to me earlier. A realisation that I, a previously normal and stupid teenage girl, had _chakra_. I learnt this after awhile of…_feeling_ something inside of me, something alive.

It was hot, it was horrible, and I was scared shitless at first. I scratched my skin raw, wondering what the hell was inside my skin and why my parents weren't doing anything. Whenever my mother found me with clumsy and thin scratches on my arms, she would simply smile understandingly and heal them with a wave of chakra, which made me question if she was actually a ninja, but that's not the point. That was how I worked it out, anyway, by feeling her warm chakra around my body, and realising that the thing crawling through my body was actually _chakra_.

This actually scared me more than it should, simply because I was a boring human. I wasn't meant to be here, I wasn't meant to have chakra. Sure, I wanted to do something in this world, but…becoming a ninja? Using this _weird_ stuff that was inside of me, that was actually in the air, in other people…that was _everywhere_?

After awhile, I was no longer bothered by the presence of chakra in my system. In fact, some nights where my memories of the old world would hit me hard, I would search for it and simply…feel it. It was like listening to someone else's heartbeat – comforting and gentle, and it would often coax me off to sleep.

Oddly enough, it was Takeshi who taught me how to actually control it. I guessed myself to be about six months old when this happened. He rarely ever came into my room, which also seemed to be the unofficial playroom as well, because sometimes Jin would appear with a friend or two, though they were always kind to me. Anyway, Takeshi gently took me out of my crib and placed me on the ground, before sitting cross legged across from me.

"Kiyomi," he said, his voice unsure yet kind. I could understand quite a few words by this time. "Chakra," he finished his sentence with that word, and I smiled slightly.

I watched in fascination as he picked up a piece of paper and placed it to his forehead, before removing his hand. The piece of paper was stuck, and at first every thought in my head was thinking my eldest brother was some unknown sorcerer…before I remembered that this was the world of _Naruto_, and my brother was a freaking _ninja_.

Takeshi held out his hand, and I clumsily took it. I felt a surge of chakra, and when I looked down I saw our palms were glowing a gentle blue. It felt odd, yet calming and I smiled broadly at my brother, who looked slightly shocked. He handed me the piece of paper, and I stared at it, unsure of what to do, before my brother tapped his forehead with his glowing finger.

It was difficult, really, to focus my chakra. Maybe because I was actually…well, _normal_ in my old world, or because I just wasn't cut out for this. Either way, I focused hard on my chakra, felt it inside me, before trying my best to focus it on my forehead. Once I thought I had it, I clumsily grabbed the piece of paper and stuffed it against my forehead, only to have it stay for barely a second before falling back down. Takeshi laughed quietly, before shaking his head.

"Doesn't matter," he told me.

I didn't really get what he meant when he said that until my first birthday. It was a quiet affair, yet my whole family was there, together, in one whole room, something I had never seen before, due to me eating in my own room with my mother. Either way, everyone was there, and my mother and father were smiling proudly down at me, though Tajima less so. Jin was laughing loudly, looking excited to eat food, while Madara and Takeshi merely watched on in fascination.

There was no cake or candles, which struck me as weird, though this _was_ a different world. Instead, there was just food and presents, most of which consisted of…clothes. Elegant kimonos and jewellery. I didn't understand, because this was a ninja world, right? The only person who didn't get me something elegant was Takeshi, who got me what looked like wooden kunai. I was shocked to get a separate present from him, but opened it eagerly.

I was extremely surprised at the yelling which occurred afterwards, and unfortunately, now that I had a quite good grasp on Japanese, I could understand it.

"What is this?" my mother demanded, her voice angry. "What do you think you are pulling, Takeshi, giving her such a thing?"

"Hush, Hana," my father told her warily. "Takeshi, your sister doesn't need these things."

I understood suddenly. I wasn't going to be a ninja. I wasn't going to fight. I wasn't going to do anything. I wasn't going to _be_ someone. All because of how I was born a freaking girl.

"_No_!" I screamed, which seemed to shock everyone. I had spoken before, mostly little things like 'Dada' and 'Mama' and 'No'. But usually it was not in reply to things. They probably thought I couldn't understand a word they were saying.

"Darling." My mother dropped down to my eye level. "You can't have these things. They're dangerous."

"No." My voice was firm this time, less screechy.

"If she wants them, she can have them," my father finally said, effectively ending the conversation for now. It would undoubtedly come up again, I had no doubt. Yet I was given the box of wooden kunai and the party continued, except a lot more awkward.

No one knew what to say, so Jin filled up the silence with silly jokes until even Father was smiling slightly. We ate the food, though I wasn't aloud to eat any of it. Instead, I was given some stupid baby food, which I was used to. As an extreme lover of food in my previous life, being denied this simple pleasure was…devastating, not that I said anything.

Either way, I sunk into this new life as well as I could. I practised my chakra control in private, which was fairly average, though I had nothing to prove this theory with. Most of the time I played with Madara or Jin, and pestered Mother to teach me new things. Several weeks after my first birthday, it was announced that our mother was pregnant. I knew instantly that _this_ would be the child, the one who would grow to love Madara and who Madara would love. It felt odd, knowing such a thing, but I didn't really care.

Our family was big, considering, but I had remembered that Tajima had five sons, though the other three had died, leaving unknown brother and Madara. I desperately hoped that I wasn't one of the five sons in the sense that _I_ died. Yet, still, I couldn't be one of them. They had most likely died in the war with the Senju – I had finally remembered that damn family name – and I was certainly not going out to fight, as I was nothing but a 'weak girl'.

When my younger brother was finally born and given the name Izuna – which had undoubtedly been his name in the show, as well –my mother died in childbirth. Things...changed, obviously. Everything seemed so tense and tight, and Father barely had any time. He didn't know what to do, and spent most of his time training Jin, now, leaving Takeshi to look after us. Jin became withdrawn, Madara became more stoic, everyone changed. I tried not to, tried to keep it all together. I was, mentally, the oldest of all of my siblings, not that they knew that. I did my best to tie everyone together, despite how hard it being.

I learnt to walk quickly, more out of urgency and necessity than want. I spent most of my time playing Izuna, trying to distract him from the fact that he didn't have a mother. Despite the fact that I felt an incredibly sense of loss, I refused to let it get to me, seeing as everyone else was deeply affected by it. Father almost seemed worried that I wasn't as sad as I should be. Sure, I cried, a lot for that matter. But there were things to be done, and here I was, a technically nineteen year old.

Even though there was a massive gap in my family now, I felt a sense of being…whole. In my old life, I had been the only child, and coupled with the fact that my parents weren't extremely close...

This was different, though. Even though Mother was gone, I was constantly surrounded by people. I had somehow placed myself rather firmly into a comfortable place, though I knew it wouldn't be comfortable for long. This was the world of Naruto, and even though I knew Mother hadn't been too eager about me being a ninja, I didn't know Father's thoughts on it. Either way, I was determined. I knew I couldn't change things completely, I knew I couldn't stop Madara from being completely power crazed and all. But that wasn't the main reason why I was doing it.

After already living one life, there was things I knew. Things I knew not to do...that I would still probably do, though. Still, I was determined.

There was no way I was simply going to back down, especially with Madara as a brother.

**.**

**A/N: **I had to add a few other...OC's, as it was revealed that Madara and Izuna were two of five brothers. So...yeah xD Hope you guys still enjoyed, sorry if it sucks, and feel free to correct anything!

Abundant E


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